When Chemistry Is Chaos: Why You’re Drawn to People Who Aren’t Good for You

Learn why addictive attraction often masks unresolved trauma and how to stop chasing chaos disguised as chemistry.

Photo by Niki Sanders on Unsplash

You feel it the moment you meet them — that electric charge, that spark, that magnetic pull you can’t quite explain.

They make your heart race, your palms sweat, and your intuition go silent.

And despite all the red flags, you chase it. You call it chemistry. You mistake it for fate. But in reality, what you’re feeling might not be connection — it might be a trauma response.

Let’s talk about why you’re drawn to people who feel like home — even when home wasn’t safe. And how to break free from the cycle of emotional chaos disguised as love.

What We Call Chemistry May Be Familiar Dysfunction

Chemistry, as we often define it, isn’t just about attraction. It’s about familiarity. And sometimes, that familiarity is rooted in unresolved wounds.

According to Dr. Nicole LePera (The Holistic Psychologist), we are most often drawn to dynamics that mirror our early emotional environments — even if they were unstable. Our nervous systems crave what they…