Do You Have an Anxious Attachment Style? Here are 10 Things to Do to Help Ease Your Worries

My thoughts were at odds since I hadn’t heard from him in four days. Negative ideas were multiplying. Cognitive distortions were tripping me up all over the place. I was overcome with emotion and under siege from concern. Is he avoiding me? I was curious. I’m sure I’ll never hear from him again, I reasoned. So I assumed it was all over. At least, that’s how it felt at the moment.

In truth, I knew there had to be a way out of this spiral — some answer to lifting me out of the pit of despair. I sat with my pain and closed my eyes. I pulled my attention within and focused on my breathing. The rise and fall of my chest took precedence over the rushing ideas in my head. I bowed out.

As a wave of relief swept over me, my nervous system slowed. I told the wee one within, “You’re secure.” Whatever happens, you are secure here.

My pulse quickens when my anxiety ramps up, and my breathing gets shallow. My muscles constrict, and I get stiff. Finally, I devolve into a massive ball of tension. All that is required is a simple trigger: a negative reply, an awkward pause in the conversation, or, in this case, no answer at all. Then doubts sneak in — and take over.